i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired

yeah i'm still sick. getting better though. my fever came, but its been gone all of today, which is a slight relief. its mostly just congestion, sore throat, pounding headache, rapid temperature changes, and sudden rapid loss of energy. but i'm slowly but surely recovering :)

this week has actually been pretty fun for me tho. i mean, i actually got to read for once. i really enjoy those rare occasions when i willingly sit down to read a book. i mean, during the school year i usually NEVER get those chances. and if i'm ever reading its just for classes and stuff like that, but i never enjoy it because i HATE reading with deadlines. so lets see.... i finally finished the last 200 pages of Glass, finished rereading That Was Then, This is Now, and started reading this book called Tweak, which was a memoir written by this former meth-addict who kept on relapsing. I stopped a bit over 20 pages into it though. I mean it was a really interesting story (like how he first got drunk when he was 11. and he was an extremely smart kid and had his entire future laid out for him, which was one of the reasons he started using) but

• drugs in general involve needles. and needles tend to freak me out.

• it was really similar to glass. i'm not saying that negatively, it was just that i'd just finished a book about the same thing that i'd been reading for probably over half a year.

• in general, it's a depressing topic!

and at this point i kinda came to the conclusion that i'm a very depressing person. i mean all i ever read about is this sort of stuff. people getting into drugs and messing up their life. its weird because it doesnt necessarily pull me away from them. but honestly, i only read depressing books now. I just looked at my facebook list of favorite books. outsiders/twttin, both really sad. especially the 2nd one. blood and chocolate, god i honestly feel like i should remove that because i can't even remember how it ends and whether or not its depressing. persepolis is probably the least depressing book on that list. crank/glass are both really sad. catcher in the rye isn't really tho which is good. les mis sort of is. i mean everyone dies, but i find the musical more powerful than the book. a separate peace i was actually crying at the end.

so i decided to go to books inc. and pick out a better, change of pace book. after over 30 minutes of deliberation i picked The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I can already tell its gonna be one of my favorites. unless the author majorly screws up in the ending. and sure its not the happiest book either, but its sad in a more substantial way as opposed to depressing. it reminds me a lot of Catcher in the Rye with the whole stream of consciousness thing. and its entirely in letters to the same person (who i dont think we ever really find out who, which is kinda nice because it makes it seem like they're being written directly to the reader).

so yeah lots of reading that i'm happy about. i'll miss the free time next week. but i'm dropping chem (actually not my decision. my parents and TA agree that i need to lighten my load so i can focus.) and i'm considering dropping yac for realsies. here's my whole logic behind that. i mean i have fun at the meetings and with (most of) the people and i love making movies yada yada. but whether i like it or not i'm a student above all other things. that's my priority along with not dying. and honestly, our individual projects are due wednesday and i havent started, and i don't think i'm going to. yes, i have a great idea for a great movie, but i have tests and stuff i need to worry about. i have a hard enough time getting all my work done and getting enough sleep every night without filming and reliving my emo past. if this were all over the summer, great i'd be all over it, but right now i just don't have the time to invest in it right now.
i havent told my parents yet because they've been telling me to drop my extracurriculars for hella long. and i wanna stick with it for the last like month and a half, but i dont know. we'll see.

oh and besides books i've seen lots of MOVIES these past few days. so here it goes. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: I think it reclaimed its title as my favorite of the movies. yes, i know it disrupted Chris Columbus' accurate vision, yada yada. but i've always been a major fan of sirius and lupin (don't get me started on how pissed i was that the flashback of james, sirius, lupin, and snape at hogwarts lasted a grand total of 4 seconds in the 5th movie). i guess in terms of accuracy the 1st/2nd movies were the best, but whatever. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: my mom watched it with me just so she could see Rob Pattinson. i'm serious, she has a serious obsession. its messed up. anyways, yeah this was the movie where it all started getting messed up. the music was HORRiBBLE and i guess if you havent read the book (or in my case, havent for several years) its decent, but nothing compared to the others. i mean i liked watching it, but yeah. Holes: yeah, not much to say about that. good movie. always thought it was. haha i remember for a week i had a crush on klio thomas... good times.

ok im gonna post this then just start a 2nd post so i can talk about sean penn. plus this is already insanely long...